So. I’ve made a decision. I’m going up The Mountain. This end of the world thing is worrying. I don’t think I’m special or anything, but I can’t just sit here. I need something, and The Mountain looks like the place to go.
On my way up The Mountain, I’ll be listening to a special music mix I created. I’ll have both a Walkman and cassette tape, as well as iPod just in case. I had to think about what I might be feeling at the time, what I want to be feeling at the time, songs for every occasion, songs with that certain memory.
I’m sharing mine here, but you should put together your own End of the World Mix Tape. My mix tape may not suit your final trek to meet me at The Mountain. You may prefer street boppy tunes.
Age of the earth: 4.5 billion years. Give or take.
Number of people on earth: approximately 7.2 billion
Number of plant species: 400,000
Number of species extinct – since 1900: hmmm.
Number of planets known to host life: 1. So far.
Arks. Idea of. Point of. Chance of.
Somewhere out there, you’d think. Must be. Intergalactic firefighting and rescue service. Some kind of.
Maybe. Maybe not.
I have been writing to many local councils. If the world ends on the 21st of December, we should spruce things up a bit. There is no reason to leave with such a mess, and it doesn’t take much to make sure our surfaces are dust-free and our rooms are scented. I have written to the local councils, therefore, with suggestions on how they can achieve this in the short time we have left. The most important item we can all utilise is lemons. Lemon juice can be added to water and leaves a soft fresh smell. There are many streets in the world, but my tree has lots of lemons. I’ll be leaving my extras in a crate in front of the begonias.
What I would leave behind
- Bad organisational skills
- Loud car horns
- Rice Bubbles that “snap, crackle, and pop” (these sounds are not suitable for the breakfast table)
- Impolite signage
- The cost of a well-made straw hat
What I would keep
- The colour fuschia
- Assistance bars in deep baths
- Bells on hotel desks
- Wet sponges in post offices
Cancel the paper
Water the pot plants
Redirect the post
Turn off the stove
Put the bin out
Bring the laundry in
Turn the iron off
Ask the neighbour to feed the dog
Leave the water bowl out
And water the plants – no.
Turn off the stove
Pull the blinds down
Leave the radio on
Wipe down the bench tops
Make the bed
Get a key cut
It has come to my attention that the world is meant to end on the 21st of December, 2012. I was not aware of this, and so I am woefully unprepared. This website is to assist us all in being ready.
The Mesoamerican long count calendar ends on the 21st December, 2012. They were very tidy people, and so I no reason to doubt their calendar technique. There are some that say the end of the world will not happen then. But this is the same logic people use about buses. They think the chances of them being hit by a bus is very low. As my mother always said, you should always have a fresh pair of underpants on in case you get hit by a bus. The end of the world is a very big bus.